This weekend was unlike other weekends I’ve had since I’ve started blogging.
Sean, my husband, took over the planning of our Paleo meals and cooking so that I could be away all day on Saturday and most of the afternoon on Sunday in a Redemption Group. It’s a new ministry our church, Apostles NYC, is putting into place. It’s purpose is to better love, care and serve people in very deep and revealing ways that can’t usually happen in larger groups due to the sensitive subject matter and vulnerability that is expected and encouraged.
It’s not a way to syphon off the “really broken” people. It’s a way to love the lost and wounded in a tender and loving way – always challenging them to confess, joyfully repent and believe in their great Healer.
There aren’t details I can share as it’s very confidential. We are dealing with dark issues in the past and the present. But I am so thankful for this group of women to walk this road with. Not only to see healing and exhortation in their own lives, but in mine as well. I am not very good at pinpointing small transgressions that I commit everyday, so a bright light into my darkness is needed not only to illuminate the now, but how the little things can affect the future.
I’m in the midst of figuring out what that looks like for me – a sustainable, regular examination of my heart, its longings and its failures. I don’t get as much time by myself as I used to. Before, Sean’s work schedule was fairly erratic and getting one night together just the two of us was lucky. I had nights to myself easily once or twice a week. Now that we are on the same schedule, we are able to integrate more regularly into our community group and with our friends in the city on double dates, concerts, basketball games, and birthdays – but that means any extra night is a date night. Not a me night.
All good things, things of which I asked and prayed for, but at some point I do need some regular me time.
The schedule of this redemption group is every Sunday for 8 weeks // 3 hours each Sunday. It’s a good amount of time for us to dig in deep and hear from everyone, but I’m also able to carve out some time before hand to reflect and ask the Lord to reveal to me what I’m chasing. What I’m trusting in and what I’m counting on. It’s usually not Him.
This reflection time is good. This time to discuss and seek God with other women is good. It’s going to be hard. Really, painfully hard. Regardless, I’m looking forward to it rooting out some deep sin and unbelief in my heart and replacing them with more Jesus.
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Romans 12: 9-10